A Poem — One day you’d realize how much you hurt me, how my fragile heart shattered in your palms and that you cast the shards into the trash like leftovers from last night’s meal. Someday, you’d want to take it all back the anger, the pain, the tears; to relieve the beautiful memories. To reach again for our promises. That day, I would be too broken to care, because this mangled heart will know no love, only fear, only pain, only trauma. I will be far too gone to return.

A Poem — So even the good comes to an end, so even love eventually dies. So even my beating heart has frozen up. Sometimes, I wonder what I must have done, sometimes, I wonder why happiness eludes me. Sometimes, the tears are too busy to bear. When all is said and done, it was good, when all is said and done, it was true; when all is said and done, it was real. I am lost to the wander, I am lost to the pain, I am lost to happiness.

A Poem — Ego came today, said “you deserve so much more;” and I believed him. Ngang God'swill N. 2023

A Poem — The first time I’ll think it is a suggestion, a jest of confusion, of frustration like a toddler’s tantrums. I would make nothing of it; but the second time is my cue, for I hear you loud and clear. You don’t have to tell me twice; I will walk away. Rejection stings, so I’ll save myself some dignity; crying alone in solitude as slowly I carve a path for you out of my heart. I entertain, apologies, offer seconds, thirds and tenths — I am good like that. But like the sun and moon, each has their time, don’t let yours pass, for when your day is done then comes the night; and it is cold, and it is dark.

A Poem — Essences of a past tethered to infinity, of smiles and merriment, often fictitious, hardly genuine. They are fruit of the best lighting, hugs and sweet poses — but that’s all they may ever be; for forced or fake don’t matter to a picture. A smile is a smile. Pictures don’t concern themselves with the fights, the arguments, nasty words, the pain — pictures wash it all off and brightens the smiles. You see, pictures say the pain never was; the audacity! For we live the pain every day, walking the fine line of sanity. But you see pictures, they are always happy, always beautiful.

A Poem — Falling out of love is messy, it’s the fights, the distance, the bitterness; but mostly, it is a surprise like reaching for a phantom limb when first you notice love is gone. It is without substance or course, just emptiness, pain, and sorrow — so we fight it; but it is like tussling with the wind, futile. For once the sun is set it’ll take a new day to enjoy its warmth again. Ngang God'swill N. 2023

A Poem — When you pray tonight, pray for me. That this dark cloud passes, that this breaking pain seizes; that I shall harness my smile, and waltz once more. For my heart is heavy and my conviction weak, I have risen only to fall as many before me, love only to hate; I see the trend, I see my life. The darkness sips in and I wonder, wandering beyond my limits yet I am trapped here, gasping. I want to be free, I want to go on. So when you pray tonight, pray for me, for all my strength is gone. I look to you.

A Poem — There is magic in the little we do, how we touch the world; little kindnesses and huge apologies. Intrinsically, we love a little too much and truly die for want of love. We are beautiful, mesmerizing even, so we hide our light to fit in but only when we are bright can others be the same. Oh baby, don’t deem for others to shine, They’ll do so anyways. Do not be shy of your own greatness, you are cheating the world of the wonder that is you. We are more than bone and flesh, more than ambitions, dreams, pasts, and regrets. We are an intricate mix, only pure, when true.

A Poem — I place my hand on my ice-cold skin, and I scream at the silence crowding my home; I reach for anything, but what I have. I see the light in the neighbors’ building, I feel the buzzing and hear the fullness. I taste of the laughter, and I dream. I am home to anguish and sorrow, they stop my breath. I dream and I hope, but I know what I am; lost, cursed, burned. Ngang God'swill N. 2023